Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
