You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
