my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
