uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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