she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Welp...herpes.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
