He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize