and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
