He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
