They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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