doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
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