Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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