In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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