the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
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