Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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