i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
