Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
