they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
