i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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