I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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