Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
