margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
