We won't sleep together?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
