you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
