Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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