Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
