I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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