Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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