Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
