i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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