areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
