I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
