oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
where does the pee come out of this thing
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Every concussion has its silver lining
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
