dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
