it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize