He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
