Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize