She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
