you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
