escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Dignity is for republicans.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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