Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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