coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
