what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
