Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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