who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
