Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
