Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
