When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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