i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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