Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
