Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
