Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
