I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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