So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
