I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Terrible idea I love it
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
