Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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