What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
