so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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