D3 body, D1 cock
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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