I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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