I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
