Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth

(248): View more from Michigan

Sounds like a blessing in disguise

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(251): View more from Alabama

My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!

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(972): View more from Texas

He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up

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(612): View more from Minnesota

In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.

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(386): View more from Florida

I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim

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(804): View more from Virginia

Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.

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