Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
